An interesting way to explore
romantic communication and the way you love is to explore it through John Lee’s perspective. Lee developed a typology of love styles that
is utilized by many to explain the types of love that humans experience. There are
six proposed ideal love styles:
Eros, Storge, Ludas, Agape, Pragma, and Mania.
Eros, Storge, Ludas, Agape, Pragma, and Mania.
Lee suggests that there are individual and relational differences that play into
how a love is formed and these differences construct how this love is
experienced and communicated.
Lee’s love styles are broken into two categories:
primary and secondary love styles.
Lee’s love styles are broken into two categories:
primary and secondary love styles.
Primary styles include:
Eros: where romantic elements of love are valued
Storge: a love that results from long-term, developed friendships
Ludas: the style that focuses on the game playing aspect of love
Secondary styles are those that combine a mixture of these primary styles. These include:
Agape: a love which is altruistic and selfless
Pragma: which is centered around logical reasoning
Mania: an obsessive style that is focused on dependence jealousy and emotional duress
These styles
can help you form a great basis for analysis and reflection when exploring how love
is communicated but it is important to remember that these are ideals and that
most people posses a mixture of many love styles, not just one.
Lee’s love styles are extremely relevant to
romantic relationships and how they are communicated because they relate to
many other aspects of a relationship such as the way we communicate about sex
or our emotional needs and desires.